


Countdown

by Herlovestoryx



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Romance, Friends to Enemies, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Jealousy, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Indulgent, disastrous ex-best friends Ryugoro, some angst for your soul
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-16 17:49:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28835154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Herlovestoryx/pseuds/Herlovestoryx
Summary: Ryuji hasn’t seen Akechi in years.orA guide on how to *not* navigate back into friendship: By Sakamoto Ryuji and Akechi Goro ft. (A very confused) Akira.
Relationships: Akechi Goro & Sakamoto Ryuji, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira/Sakamoto Ryuji, Akechi Goro/Sakamoto Ryuji, Kurusu Akira/Sakamoto Ryuji, Persona 5 Protagonist/Sakamoto Ryuji
Comments: 12
Kudos: 46





	1. five.zero

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [you never used to smile like the curve of a knife](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12396012) by [Catory](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catory/pseuds/Catory). 



> I've had this thought for awhile. In the middle of me *attempting* to pay attention to my lecture i test wrote a few lines that became what I'm posting now. very much inspired by 'you never used to smile like the curve of a knife by Catory.  
> Please tell me what you think (・・;)  
> ...

_:_

_five_

Ryuji hasn’t seen ~~Goro~~ Akechi in years.

He looks _waayy_ different now. He still has that prissy, girly hair and he still speaks as if he’s looking down on everyone, but there’s some added layer ontop of all of that. He speaks softer, lighter than Ryuji’s ever heard it. his smiles are gentle almost childlike and his laughs are airy, breathless even. He looks and acts like prince.

Ryuji has to curl his fingers into his palms before he walks over and breaks his face in.

The stage lights are probably not helping. He looks almost angelic as he talks down to the audience, and even when he’s answering questions he sounds patient and kind and not at all like the kid he grew up with, who used to steal his bed and made Ryuji call him Goro ni-san for a whole year.

It’s almost ugly on how fake ~~Goro~~ Akechi is now. Ryuji really wants to say something, but can’t bring it to anyone’s attention. It’ll be hard to explain to Akira or Ann or anyone, that he used to know Akechi like the back of his hand and the person on the stage right there, who’s calling them criminal’s yammering on about laws and whatever, is not him, Ryuji can’t recognize him for shit. It’s easier for him to get angry, to focus on the annoyance of seeing Akechi again after years of radio silence. It’s easier to get angry on Akechi passively threaten them, saying how he’s gonna bring these ‘thieves’ to justice. It’s way easier to get angry than to focus on how much he missed him.

Akechi calls on Akira. Ryuji blanks out, wonders if he was imagining how Akechi eyes falter when they drift towards them, how it looked like he lingered a little.

He wonders if Akechi missed him too.

…

(Ryui and ~~Akechi~~ ~~Goro~~ Akechi grew up together.

He’s known Akechi for years, since they were toddling about, drawing on the park’s concrete late at night before his mum came and got them. Akechi has been by his side for every life event. Every birthday. Every children’s day. Every first crush, everything.

Akechi was there when he broke his ankle when he was five. Akechi was there when they found a stray cat and tried to lure it home with the melon bread they got for lunch. Akechi was there after the first time his dad hit him. When his cheek was bruised up and he had a split lip, and Akechi was there to put a small plaster on it and hug him and cried with him, all by themselves at the park near where they lived, holding on until one of their parents called them home.

Akechi was there for everything. Until one day he wasn’t. Ryuji hated him so much for that. Hated that Akechi just left him by himself one day, like he didn’t even care.

It makes it worse that he knows that he isn’t the only one hurting.

His ma and Akechi’s mum (Aoi-san, but Ryui doesn’t know if he should still call her that) have known each other since his ma’s delinquent high school days, separating for couple of years before bumping into each other in the same apartment block, tired with shitty lives and small kids and rekindled their timid friendship.

He doesn’t remember much about Akechi-san. She was pretty, but she always looked sad whenever he came over. Her face was always sunken into, she was mainly skin, and bones and she hardly ever said anything to him. She only really spoke to Akechi and his ma, which Ryuji could get behind because he never knew what to say to the lady who looked like she was going to topple over, who would sometimes spend ages in bed decaying instead of feeding herself or her son.

His father used to call her lazy. Used to yell at his mum, calling her pathetic to cling on to an ever dying friendship, to run to help a bitch of a women who doesn’t know how to help herself. Ryuji firmly believes now that his father is a bastard, so it’s easy to disregard his words as nothing but bullshit, but he doesn’t know much about Akechi-san, doesn’t know what to think of her.

He kinda hates her a little for leaving without saying shit, for leaving his ma all alone, upset with a douchebag for a husband and a reckless kid.

But he hates Akechi even more, ‘cause Akechi-san didn’t have any obligation towards him or his ma, but ‘kechi was his best friend, and the fact that he just one day up and left just before Ryuji turned eight, without even goodbye makes him wanna break something and scream all over again. Just like he did when he realised Goro was gone.

He hates him. He does. But-

But.

)

…

~~( _“why does everyone I love always end up leaving me?”)_~~

…

When he sees Akechi again, summer’s is in full bloom. Ryuji has to bite his lip throughout the whole conservation about Medjed ~~(it’s not like anyone here would like to listen on his opinion, huh)~~ and even when the topic shifts to Makoto and her sister, Ryuji barley pays attention to what he’s spouting out, juts knows that his tone Is hostile and defensive just like he feels all over.

Akechi is barley paying attention to him. He’s probably only looked at Ryuji once throughout this whole time, and at first Ryuji thought it’s cause Akechi doesn’t recognise him, but after they all part ways, Akechi bumps his shoulder against his own and when Ryuji glances back, Akechi’s mask is dropped, long enough for Ryuji to see a smirk on his lips that really makes Ryuji wanna strive over and stick it to him.

Someone pokes his arm. “What’s wrong Ryuji?” Akira says, looking back at the blond in concern. It’s only then Ryuji realises that he’s stopped moving. He quickly glances back behind him, only to see that Akechi is already gone. He shakes his head. “Sorry man. Nothing’s wrong, just got lost in thought.”

He hears Morgana sniff a little, from where he’s seated in Arkia’s bag. “That doesn’t sound like you.”

“Yeah.” He mutters back, “It doesn’t, does it.” and he leaves it like that.

…

It comes to some unspeakable understanding that they’re ignoring each other. Every time him and the rest of the gang bump into Akechi and his passive shitty smile, Ryuji will look away or Akechi would mock him but wont say anything else otherwise. Akechi will say “Sakamoto-san” all ridicule like, but nothing else and Ryuji will tug on Akira’s wrist to ground himself, to stop from snapping back. 

(The first time he grabbed onto Akira as they had this non-intimidating but supposed to be threatening talk with Akechi, his ex-best friend narrowed his eyes at them before turning to Yusuke and answering whatever the artist was saying. He doesn’t think anyone notices, but Ryuji is glad that he still sorta knows Akechi, can still spot the annoyance on his pretty face even though he doesn’t know why.)

When Akechi fucks up, and when they catch up on his fuck up, Ryuji all but shouts in glee. He raises his fists up in jovial victory. 

“We got him right? We know he’s the black mask! We can finally stick it to him.”

Makoto hums in agreement. “You’re right.” She says, “But we should really plan on how we go about this. We should-“

“Why should we do that? Can’t we just go and find his palace and change his heart ? someone like that has got to be twisted enough-“ (Because the Goro he knew would have never left -)

“Are you an idiot?” Morgana hisses. He’s scowling up at him, tail swishing angrily on Akria’s bedroom floor. “We can’t just go into the metaverse and change his heart. He knows we’re the phantom thieves!”

Ryuji falters at that, his arm that was previously raised drops down. His face drops because honestly he completely forgot about that. Or, well. He forgot everything that wasn’t about getting his Akechi back.

“Oh” he says instead, and he tries hard to keep the dejection out of his mouth. 

There’s silence and it’s awkward, until Akira clears his throat. “ It wouldn’t work anyways.” His best friend says besides him. “Didn’t Mona say that persona users can’t have palaces?”

“Yeah!” Ann says, “Yeah he did!” and Morgana fully preens at the fact that Ann remembers something that he said, “So it would be absolutely impossible to change his heart, right?” she’s looking around the room for confirmation and brightens when everyone nods.

“You’re right Lady Ann,” Morgana says dreamily, his tail now swishing slowly. “Please, ignore what Skull said. He was just being an moron.”

“Oi-“

Makoto interrupts the fight before it even starts by glaring at Ryuji and moving the conversation back on track. Ryuji feels his bristle’s rise and then fall, and he slumps down more into Akira’s bed.

He just wanted- just wanted a chance to see if that’s all it was. That these ten or so years, Akechi became twisted and bitter and all he needs to do is change Akechi from the inside out and Ryuji can have Goro back again.

Maybe it’s selfish. To want Akechi when he’s been claiming to the high heavens that Akira’s his best friend but he can’t help it. He likes Akira (and sometimes at night it’s a little harder to deny this insistent want to be closer, to stay by Akria’s side forever) but Akechi is… Akechi. For so long, Goro and his Mum was all that he had, and yeah Akira’s filling up that role now too, but he wants them both. Wants to stay by Akira and have Akechi there too. Wants them to never leave him (again in Akechi’s case), wants them by his side. Because Akira’s his present, but Akechi was his past and he really wants him (wants them both) to be his future too.

His mum always warned him about having his cake and eating it too.


	2. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their plan goes without a hitch.

_..._

_Four_

On the day of the cultural festival, Ryuji’s main aim is to avoid Akechi like the plague, unless necessary. It helps that Akechi doesn’t arrive until way late into the day.

He gets sent out from their room, after he drops the microphone for the nth time. Makoto says as she shoos him out that “maybe you can be helpful elsewhere.” And as he leaves, he hears Morgana snort, going “Skull’s never helpful.” Before screeching like a hyena.

The words sting, but it’s nothing he ain’t used to by now. And they’re right, he’s not being useful. His mind is going waves; he can’t think straight at all and it’s showing with how badly he can’t concentrate. So he leaves now having to walk around the classrooms all by himself. It’s hella lonely. He hasn’t been to a festival in ages, probably not since last year of middle school with his mum. It’s weird not being with someone, not having someone to talk to especially in such a crowded place and he starts to hunch over himself and avoids all eye contact with everyone he bumps into. God, he probably does looks like some kinda delinquent.

Other classes keep eyeing him up and down whenever he gets near to them, so he ends up aimlessly walking around the whole school. Trying hard not to concentrate on anything or think about how much of a screw up he is or how much his friends would’ve achieved if he just didn’t come in today or how he kinda wishes Akechi just talked to him or-

He bumps into someone almost violently, after tripping over nothing. They don’t fall over despite momentum, but he does hit his head on the person’s shoulder and wow that hurts. “Ah, Sorry dude,” he starts, rubbing his head before he looks up and sees Akechi blinking over him in displeasure.

“Goro” He says without thinking, stumbling back from the brunet. He covers his mouth with his hands once he realises, because shit, they were supposed to be ignoring each other.

(He’s always been crap at their cold wars though.)

Akechi to his credit doesn’t say anything to that. If anything, his annoyance seems to drain into neutrality and Ryuji hates that more than if Akechi was pissed off. “Sakamoto-san.” He says instead, and effing hell, the forced politeness is really gonna start getting on Ryuji’s nerves soon. He doesn’t think Akechi ever called his Mum _‘Sakamoto’_ never less adding ‘San’ to it. It’s like Akechi’s trying too hard on creating a distance and Ryuji doesn’t know why that hurts him so much than it should.

“You should really watch where you’re going.” Akechi continues pointedly. Ryuji drops his hands and says “I was! I was just…,” before realising he doesn’t know what he’s saying, just automatically went into defensive mode because Akechi’s here, and they’re alone for the first time since they clashed back into each other’s lives, and Akechi’s still acting like doesn’t know him. Like Ryuji meant nothing to him.

He counts to ten in his head and sighs out. Akechi watches him, his gaze apathetic.

“Sorry man.” He says, “I was just lost in thought or something. I didn’t see you there.”

Akechi raises an eyebrow almost intrinsically, before his face narrows out and he turns away from Ryuji to continue staring outside. “You must have been thinking hard about something then, Sakamoto-san.”

“Yeah.” Ryuji breathes, “I was.” He continues to stare at Akechi, trying to map out little differences, from when Akechi was nine years old and not borderline 18, properly now that they’re here and not avoiding each other’s gazes like they do ninety-nine percent of time they’re in each other’s space.

It’s silent for awhile. Ryuji wants to leave, wants to continue with his initial plan on avoiding Akechi because whenever he’s near, Ryuji can’t help the range or emotions, of rage and sadness that’s desperate to come out. But even more than that, and at the very least he can admit this to himself, is that he just wants to talk. Just wants an explanation at least.

Ryuji takes a deep breath and while he hesitates before speaking, he can’t stop the words fully from crumbling out of his mouth, “Akechi. Man, why have you been so-”

Akechi cuts him off. “Sakamoto-San.” He says. He looks at Ryuji, his gaze penetrating and authoritative making it difficult for Ryuji to finish his sentence. They stare at each other for a moment, and Ryuji’s hands twitch like he wants to reach out, wants to pull at the mask that Akechi’s so insistent on wearing, wants him to at least call by his name Goddamnit, he’ll even settle for that annoying cutesy nickname he used to call him.

“Sakamoto-san” Akechi repeats, “Did I ever tell you about a friend I once had?”

What?

“What?” Ryuji says baffled. Akechi smiles a little, but it looks strange on his face. Ugly, is probably the best way to describe it.

He shifts his stare back to the window. “When I was younger there was this child who used to cling on to me” His eyes narrow a little, like he’s thinking on what to say, and all Ryuji can think Is ‘is this ‘bout me?, is he for real talking ‘bout us right now?’

“They would not let me out of their sight for very long. They would follow me everywhere. I believe most of the adults around us, thought our interactions were cute." He sighs here, almost condescendingly, “In reality however, I thought it was pathetic. I hated being around them.”

And that’s the killing blow, Ryuji thinks distantly. Akechi’s watching him now, and the malice that used to be hidden is prevalent. His smile is wider, almost cheshire with poison attached and Ryuji feels like something just crawled up inside him and died.

“I really disliked having them around me with false pretences on the future.” And Akechi’s smiling harder on how Ryuji takes a step back, how the blond eyes widen. “Their optimism on forever nauseated me, especially as I knew they never meant it. Just a childish hope. Something to cling onto, until they found the next shiny thing and let that replace me. It was sickening to be around.”

“Y-you” Ryuji stammers out. He feels sick. He really should’ve taken the chance and left. Because then he wouldn’t hear any of this shit. Wouldn’t hear exactly how Akechi thinks of him.

Akechi glances upwards towards the ceiling, his smile ugly, his voice pleasantly saccharine. “I hope he’s doing well.”

Ryuji stares at him. Feels nausea crawl at the bottom of his stomach, feels his hands shake with something (Rage. Sadness. Both he can’t effing tell.), feels his mouth move without his permission, can barely stutter out a comprehensible word other than, “Y-you. Y-you’re…”

“Yes, Sakamoto -san?” Akechi watches him calmly.

Ryuji takes a step forward and swings at him. Akechi dodges him swiftly, chuckling a little when Ryuji misses and topples over himself. “You use wide movements to attack. You make it very easy to avoid.”

“Why the fuck.” Ryuji breathes, anger taking over. “Why the fuck are you doing this?”

“I have no clue on what you mean, Sakamoto-san.” Akechi’s phone rings, and Ryuji doesn’t turn, doesn’t want to look at him from where he’s kneeling.

“Ah, it looks like this is my cue.” Ryuji hears footsteps walking away. He wants to reach out, wants to grab Akechi by the ankles but all of the sudden he feels weak. Defeated. God, what the fuck-

“I’ll be seeing you then.” Akechi says, as he walks out the corridor and leaves Ryuji alone, confused and questioning everything he’s ever known.

…

(Their plan goes without a hitch. Akechi accepts Makoto’s invitation, bates them out to a crowded audience and then strikes them a deal. Ryuji has little reason to wonder why he feels grim. Why he can’t look at Akechi in the eye without hearing ‘I hated being around them.’ Echoing in his skull until it turns into mush. How he can hear it everywhere, can’t escape from it. how much the words burn his chest and makes him curl up in his bed wondering.)

(He always thought Akechi _liked_ him. That Akechi saw him as a best friend too. What…? What did he do _wrong_?)

…

“Hey? You okay?” Akira says to him late one afternoon.

They’re sitting around playing video games and Ryuji has dropped the item that his character was holding for like the second time within the last ten minutes.

Ryuji shakes his head. “Yeah man.” He shrugs, “I’m good. Why you asking?”

Akira pauses the game. “Because we’ve been stuck on the same floor for the last five minutes and you’ve been dropping items left and right.”

“Oh.” Ryuji says, because there’s nothing more he could say to that.

Akira sighs and faces him. Ryuji drops the controller onto his lap and listens. “Look dude,” Akira starts, “You’ve been spacing out a lot recently. Is something going on…?”

Here’s the thing. It would be wise to tell Akira everything right now. To get it out in the open, to explain to Akira that he feels extremely uncomfortable around Akechi, doesn’t even know how he’s supposed to act around him after…after what Akechi said.

(Because before he had some hope of just talking to Akechi and just evening everything out. Because no matter how much he claimed to hate him, Goro was still Goro, and he couldn’t let that go. And now…now he can’t believe on how much of an idiot he is.)

It would be wise to tell Akira all of this. But something stops him.

He doesn’t know how Akira would react to this. Sure his leader is normally calm and stoic at everything, but what if he got mad that Ryuji didn’t tell him earlier? What if he says ‘Akechi’s right, you really are pathetic, Ryuji.’? Or he tells the others and they get mad for him not saying shit and-

He gets a headache. He groans out loud, hunching over and rubs at his forehead. Akira frowns in concern. “You okay?” He repeats, a hand going to rub at Ryuji’s back.

“’m fine.” Ryuji replies back, closing his eyes and rubbing fruitlessly at his head. “I think I’ve been stressing out too much.” He hesitates before saying “our last exams killed me, so ma’s been pushing me to study more. I guess ‘m a little nervous to flunk out the next ones. Don’t wanna get her upset.” And it’s not a complete lie, but it’s better than telling Akira the truth.

“Is that it?” Akira says. Ryuji looks up at him, and spots the frown on Akira’s face.

“What did you think it was?”

“Nothing. I just thought…” he watches as Akira shakes his head. “It’s nothing. I think I’ve been worrying too much.”

Ryuji shrugs Akira’s hand off him as he sits up straight. “For real? ‘bout what?”

Akira stares at him for a moment. “…about you. But if it’s just about exams...” He drifts off. He copies Ryuji’s earlier movements and shakes his head. “It’s nothing. Just me overthinking.”

Ryuji frowns at that, but before he could say anything to it, Akira says “You know you can join me and Makoto on our study sessions right? It might help you out a little.”

“Aww man, that’s kind of you.” Ryuji grins, “I hope I can keep up with you guys.”

“I’m sure, you’ll be fine.”

They un-pause the game, and it’s silent for a while as they continue scouting the map of the floor they’re in.

“You know I care about you right?” Akira says to him, quietly, eyes focused on killing an enemy in front of them.

Yeah, Ryuji thinks, until he effs it up. Until Akira leaves him because he’s such a fucking screw up.

“Sure man” he says instead, smiling. It’s hard on his features. Ryuji drops an item for the third time. “I care about you too, Aki!”

…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you've probably noticed I've changed the chapter titles from three to five. Originally, this story was supposed to be written in three perspectives but as I posted the first quarter of ryuji's part prior, I realised it probably wouldn't make sense as much.  
> I'm not completely satisfied with this chapter tbh , partly because i don't know if i managed to write Ryuji's feelings properly. I hope you still enjoyed reading it though!  
> Stay Safe!


	3. Three. five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Childhood memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> originally this was part of the next chapter. then I realised how big the next one was (as it's the final part in Ryuji's perspective) so I separated it into little parts. the next chapter is coming soon , probably within the next two weeks.  
> trigger warning; child abuse  
> ...

_Three. five_

(it’s cold.

He’s never been to the playground late at night before. Has never noticed the drop in temperature, how, when the wind whistles past him, it echoes against his skin and forces him to bring his knees closer against his chest. 

He’s been crying ever since he got here, as soon as his legs collapsed onto the ground, after running as soon as he slipped out of the door. Tears won’t stop falling from his eyes, even though he’s buried his face between his knees, trying to dry his face with his pyjama bottoms. He can’t stop shivering, feels his arms wobble from where it hugs below his joints, almost as if it wants to collapse and let go, but he can’t, because if he does then, then-

_(angry. His dads angry again. His face is all red. He’s breathing heavy and all Ryuji can smell from him is the bitterness of the beer that he saw his father nursing on when he came home from school. His arm is raised high, bounded up to a fist, and he takes a swing again even though Ryuji’s already down, even though he can taste something metallic on his lips, even though he’s already said sorry-)_

He hugs himself tighter.

He doesn’t know how long he’s been here. Hunched under the climbing dome, he could’ve been here for hours or minutes. He’s not really sure. All he knows is that it’s way past his bedtime but it’s fine because his mum’s at work and his dad slumped over on the recliner, gurgling openly his mouth covered in drool.

He was supposed to do something with Goro before he went to bed tonight, but it’s hard to remember what. From the time he left school till now, all remembers is blank spaces, all he remembers is being hurt all over again and hating the man in front of him, who keeps calling him ‘boy’ and ‘little fuck.’ Remembers wishing to hurt him , wishing to release something onto the man above him, but knowing whatever he does or says, it’ll only escalate everything more.

He stays for longer. His arms weaken too much and fall from their hold. Ryuji doesn’t lift up his face though. Even when he’s stopped crying, he continues to breathe, rough and slow, eyes still hazed watching the grit below him.

It’s not until he hears the crunch of someone’s step, coming closer to him, that he moves.

He tenses. He can’t lift up his face. He doesn’t know who the person is. It could be a kidnapper. It could be his mum. Even worse it could be his dad, who’s finally woken up and noticed that Ryuji’s gone and went looking for him for round three-

“Ryu-chan?” the person says.

There’s only one person who still calls him that. Ryuji looks up.

Goro is watching him carefully. He’s bundled up in a coat too big for him and gloves too tight. From where Ryuji’s sitting he can see the way it pinches at Goro’s skin, stretched and bundled all at once. It’s then he notices that Goro is holding something. A small bag decorating his shoulder.

“Goro?” he says back. His voice is hoarse. He has to blink rapidly to focus on him.

Goro wrinkles his nose. “You’re going to catch a cold, dummy.” He leans forward, and doesn’t even react when Ryuji flinches at the sudden movement, just drops a hat inelegantly onto Ryuji’s head. “Wear this.”

It’s demanding as usual, but there’s something softer in Goro’s tone that makes Ryuji actually listen to him for once and not argue back. He sits up and stretches, wincing when his knees crack. He pulls the hat onto his head and sighs at the instant warmth it gives him.

Goro is still watching him. Ryuji looks away ashamed, feeling like an insect under an magnify glass.

“Thanks.” He mumbles, pulling at the sides of the hat until it covers nearly all his face.

Goro doesn’t say anything back to him, but Ryuji hears a little sigh from the other. There’s a small moment and then a shift, and he feels Goro stand directly next to him and then sit next to him, letting their elbows touch and rest together.

“I’m sorry, Ryu-chan.”

Ryuji scoffs a little. “’s not your fault.” He says, because it isn’t. Goro has nothing to do with this. What he wants to say is that it’s his, but he can’t form the words out.

There’s silence between them. And then Ryuji hears a small sniffle.

He quickly turns to Goro. He’s never seen Goro cry before. Goro’s strong. Sometimes he thinks Goro is stronger than him, despite the fact that Ryuji’s supposed to be the one protecting him from bullies that him call him girl, or tease him cause Aoi-san didn’t pack much in his bento box or mock him ‘cause Goro doesn’t have a dad.

Goro has never cried at any of that. He normally lifts his face up high, and says something really smart to them that goes way over Ryuji’s head, and let’s Ryuji punch ‘em or at least tell a teacher.

But yet, Goro’s nose is red and his cheeks are flushed. He’s staring straight but his eyes are glassy like he’s seeing something. He sniffs again.

Ryuji stares at him. “Goro? A-are you crying…?”

Goro huffs and turns to look at him. “Shut up.” He mutters back. His eyes are narrowed now, and they’ve lost the glassy look, but the tell-tell signs are still there.

“But you were...”

“I wasn’t anything.” Goro scowls back. He fruitlessly swipes at his face, almost as if he’s trying to catch any stray tears.

Ryuji bites his lip. “You’re my best friend.” He says instead of _you mean so much to me_ , because Goro was the only one to come and find him.

Goro nods and Ryuji eases and leans into him. He folds himself into Goro, let’s his arms wring around Goro’s frame and his head find it’s way between Goro’s chin and collarbone, and feels the other place an arm around his shoulders, hugging him back.

“Ryuji,” Goro says, and Ryuji wants to look up because it’s the first time in awhile that Goro has forsaken the cutesy nickname. But he’s way too settled, feeling Goro inhale and exhale and it feels like he can finally breathe easier again. “When we’re older, and I left here to go find someone, would you come with me?”

Ryuji’s response is immediate. “’course. You’re my best friend Goro. Forever.” _‘I think I would follow you anywhere, cause other than Ma, you’re the only one who makes sure I’m okay.’_

“You have to promise me, Ryuji. This isn’t like when you promised to drink my milk during lunch yesterday and then you didn’t. this is forever. Would you follow me?”

Ryuji shifts to look at him. Goro is staring determinedly back at him, his mouth in a hard line.

“I promise, Goro.” He says with no hesitation.

Goro breathes loudly. “Good.” He says. Then he chews on his lip, hesitating before saying “I want to be able to protect you everywhere we go. You have to be by myside for that, okay?”

Ryuji blinks in shock and then scowls. “You don’t have to. I’m stronger, remember. ‘m no weakling“

Goro rolls his eyes. “I never said you were. But I want to. Think of it as a trade for you coming with me. It’s a deal, okay?”

Ryuji doesn’t think that it’s a fair deal. It would mean that he would have to be vulnerable, and he’s not that. He’s the strong one, he’s the one who can take punches (He flinches a little at the thought), he’s the one who’s supposed to be protecting everyone else.

But Goro is staring at him with all the determination he can muster. He’s not blinking away.

He means what he says. Ryuji has never thought of Goro as a liar, but this is probably the most honest he’s ever heard him. Goro wants to protect him.

And it comes with forever being with him. It’s not a fair deal, but it’s a nice one.

“Okay.” He says, “I promise.”

“Good.” Goro says back. And then he wraps his arm around Ryuji and hugs him again.

_Aoi-san finds them later with his mum. They both look worried, their faces tense. His mum can’t stop fussing over them, hands flying everywhere on their faces. Aoi-san’s shivering with a small coat, her hand absentmindedly patting Goro’s head, ‘they’re fine right? Mimi-san, should we take them to the hospital?’_

_They eventually bundle both Goro and Ryuji up and hustle them into Goro’s apartment. The lights are out but there’s candles (and oh, Ryuji thinks. he was supposed to help Goro buy more candles before the convenience store closed.) in the living room and kitchen. It makes for an ominous lightening, but it’s better than the alternative of going to Ryuji’s house and risk waking up his dad. His mum brings a flashlight anyways and hands both him and Goro hot water bottles to warm them up, and through it all, Ryuji doesn’t let go of Goro, his hand clenched tightly onto his._

Goro holds on tightly too.)

…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another way of looking at Akechi's question is 'would you chase after me, even if you don't know where i am?' I struggled to write this in a way that's still keeping childhood innocence and still something that Akechi would say but ultimately decided not to.


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